It’s been a long time since I took this pen to paper. A part of me had the urge to write but I just didn’t know where to start…so here goes.

I know like I know like I know that my life will be in full vibrant colors. I know that I will be at peace. I know that I will have the life I’ve always dreamed of. However, it a continuous struggle because I always think that someone is going to supply this dream for me. I keep thinking Mr. Prince Charming will whisk me away and I will never have to worry about making ends meets ever again. I’m conflicted because I feel this isn’t how it’s going to pan out for me. My intuition and this kind of knowing makes me feel as though I can have whatever I want but I will be the one to provide it to myself. And you see, that makes the most sense.

I’ve tried the “easy” way to acquire things and let me tell you it wasn’t so easy. I’ve had wealthy men in the palm of my hands but that lifestyle was too much on my conscience. I was indeed a manipulator and taking on characteristics of a narcissist/sexual sadist. In my defense the men were not angels either. As you can imagine, being this kind of person was actually doing more harm to myself than it was to the men. I found myself getting involved with drugs & alcohol, having underlying motives, and just flat-out living a lie. Meanwhile, I had all the things I wanted and I didn’t need to work but I still had a void. I knew I did not want to go back to working in the call center industry but I knew I also did not want to keep masquerading as something I’m not to get what I wanted from these men I cared absolutely nothing about. Well, I guess I cared a little bit after all they are human but c’mon I was just a fetish fantasy to them regardless of how many times they professed their love to me.

I was willing to risk it all to get out of this lifestyle. Ironically, my own sister and many other women thought I was insane to let go of my meal tickets just because I felt like morally and spiritually it was no longer fulfilling. These women were more about the money than I was– hook, line, sinker. Hook his ass, line him in, and take his ass for all he got (sinker)! But you see, that just seemed like too long of a “chore” for me. I was growing a rapid repulsion towards these men and I was frankly ready to discard them and move on. But I didn’t want to move on to another man for a meal ticket. I wanted to earn my own keeps and be the kind of self-started dream woman who my ideal dream man would be searching for.

Now fast forward 18 months, since I have resigned from these relationships with my “sponsors”. Granted they still make sure a girl is well-kept from time to time but nothing is in it for them besides dinner and a church hug at the end of the night. Since my resignation, I was able to get my mind + body + soul right. I kicked most of the drugs, reduced alcohol consumption, and worked on my clearing my mental. I launched this blog website about 16 months ago to allow me a creative space to share things I’ve learned along the way with other people who may resonate with the same teachings that have been useful for my growth. My blog started off as a success then slowly declined some 6 months ago. I’ll get more into the details of why and how that happened later on but for now let’s continue with my story. This upcoming summer will make one year that I have been working in the rewarding field of natural medicine, herbs, and supplements. I am actually quite happy and loving this field. This will ultimately tie into my future plans and lifetime goals. preparation meets opportunity

I can truly say my success thus far came by way of preparation meeting opportunity. I definitely feel blessed that some 18 months ago I was at a point where I needed to get out of toxic relationships and help myself be better. I was fortunate that I was introducing spirituality and holistic living just right before I got involved with these affluent men so it wasn’t too hard for me to bounce back into living conscientiously. I don’t regret the experiences and lessons I gained while with my suitors. It was probably the best age (24-26) for me to experience what I thought was the “high life”.  I can say without doubt now I know what is important and truly of value. I still want nice things and new experiences but I want to do it on my terms and hopefully share these memories with someone I care for.

However, things are a little different now. Remember how I said I would explain why my blog had slowly been declining as of 6 months ago? Well, a huge part of this is due to the news of my growing baby daughter in my belly. She will be arriving in early August! My first-born (: You would think I would have been more eager to write more since being pregnant especially with all these flooding emotions and experiences. I think more than anything it was a matter of being so fatigue during the first few months of my pregnancy; I was literally asleep by 8:30pm most nights. Also, I just didn’t know how to begin writing from where I had left off at. I did not want to just jump right in with a ‘hey I’m back fyi I’m pregnant’ type of post. I did not want my announcement to be cliché and ordinary as that’s just not me (as you probably know by now). I’m always filled with twists, turns, and surprises. So surprise! note: my future husband ought to be the man who can get down with me and all my quirks; Pisces women are for a select few!

Anywhoo, needless to say this post comes to full circle now. Obviously, the drugs and liquor aren’t an issue any longer. My mental state has continued to mature, evolve, and maintain peace. My career is opening the right doors for me so it’s important I keep focused so that I can have the life I know will be mine. So far so good! Sometimes, we as people get sidetracked on how much further we have to go and lose sight of how far we’ve come. I make it a priority to not forget where I started from so that I can look at my past achievements to motivate me to keep going. It’s incredible to see and check off all the things I wanted to do on wish lists that I created in 2014. You know, it may actually be past due for me to create a new wish list for the next upcoming goals and markers. I think it’ll be fun to work on this task especially with my upcoming addition, Aría.

Confession time: I’m secretly happy to be having a girl. Though, I wanted a boy first so he could watch over his little sister in grade school but secretly I wanted a girl. I’m so excited yet sometimes nervous. I do love my baby girl and feel such a strong bond with her already. She makes me laugh, cry, feel loved, and she keeps me motivated. I am determined to raise her in a healthy freeing natural environment. I can go on and on but I think I will wait to share baby blogging for a different post as I have a lot to write on in regards to raising a child in these times.

For now, I just wanted to stop by, ramble for a bit, and overall spread some love to you all. Look forward to being more active on my blog and let you in on some of the things I didn’t get to share with you.  I have a lot more that I want to write about and catch you up on such as:

  • new recipes
  • health + beauty tips
  • inspiration quotes
  • videos
  • and so much more!

Happy Spring to my NH folks and Happy Autumn to my SH peeps! Take care and much love.

soy, corn, sugar beets! oh my! GMO vs YOU

If you’re at the very least slightly tuned into the world then you’re probably well aware of the rise in GMOs, or genetically modified organisms. If you’re not familiar then here’s a brief explanation of what GMOs are:

The Institute for Responsible Technology defines it as “A GMO (genetically modified organism) is the result of a laboratory process where genes from the DNA of one species are extracted and artificially forced into the genes of an unrelated plant or animal. The foreign genes may come from bacteria, viruses, insects, animals or even humans.”

credit: http://eatdrinkbetter.com/The Non-GMO Project explains it as “a GMO, or genetically modified organism, is a plant, animal, microorganism or other organism whose genetic makeup has been modified using recombinant DNA methods (also called gene splicing), gene modification or transgenic technology. This relatively new science creates unstable combinations of plant, animal, bacterial and viral genes that do not occur in nature or through traditional crossbreeding methods.”

In layman’s terms, scientist are the new farmers. They can literally crossbreed the genes of coldwater fish with tomatoes so that the tomato now can withstand freezing cold temperatures thus allowing more crops to be grown. Doesn’t sound so bad right? More food equates to more people fed…. Technically, yes. But what happens if the fish they are using are farm-raised fish? Farm-raised fish are generally kept in a small overcrowded pens and because they are marinating in such tight corners there is no real filtering of the water going on. So then these fishes become susceptible to diseases and corporate food companies can’t have that so the best thing to combat disease is to add in antibiotics to these fish farms. Need I say more? I think you know where that spirals into. Credits: Dr Axe

To be fair, let’s say these “GMO scientists” are not using fish genes. A different approach to producing more crops is to have herbicide-tolerant plants. No animal gene mixing involved there! The plant is engineered to withstand high levels of pesticides. Using pesticides on our produce is not a new concept for consumers but what is alarming is corporate food companies have been lobbying to raise the allowable limit of these chemical pesticides. So what! What’s the big deal? For one, these are linked to the same pesticides that are drastically killing our honey bees aka nature’s pollinators. Secondly, the crops that are being genetically altered to tolerate these chemicals have less nutritional values than organic crops do. This does more harm to us than not since American physicians have reported a majority of their patients having nutrient deficiencies thus leaving us susceptible to illnesses and abnormalities. In defense, these GM corporations have tried to modify the crops to have more nutritional benefits in them, but the only downfall to that is the human body does not absorb these nutrients in the same manner it would from a natural source. Lastly, the seeds of these genetically engineered crops are able to spread to other areas by way of the wind and have the potential to infect nearby organic farms.

Consumers who support genetically engineered foods for the reason that it can feed the entire world have the right to believe that. Personally, I haven’t seen such a thing happen. Even in terms of Americans having enough to eat, let alone the whole world. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t wish those less fortunate to have a choice between eating nothing and eating frankenstein food. It’s not fair. And it’s not fair that I have to be concerned about GM seeds infecting crops of organic farms. So next time you order popcorn and a Pepsi at the movie theatre just know what it is that you’re really ingesting.

More Information about GMOs:

Seeds of Death: Unveiling The Lies of GMO’s
Living Non-GMO Resources


Toxicology Expert Speaks Out About Roundup and GMOs
Labels on Genetically Engineered Food Coming Soon



surrender to vulnerability

For the last couple of months I have been feeling a little indifferent, not sure of why or what was causing me to feel this way. So I started to obsessively rack my brain trying to figure out how I can get back to feeling  “normal” again. In the midst of this reflective period, I went through spells of feeling withdrawn from the world, lazy, indecisive—the list goes on. Literally.

I tried to just ignore what it was I was feeling and tried my hardest to keep on trucking along. Finally, I came to a point where this was really starting to affect me physically and psychologically so I decided to surrender. I gave up resistance and submitted to the fact that I needed to take some immediate action. Admittedly, I cannot say I have conquered all of these issues I face. More than anything, writing and acknowledging these obstacles is healing for me and was the first step I decided to take. I hope that at the very least this post resonates with someone else who may be dealing or had previously dealt with the same situation. If you have some suggestions on how to combat these obstacles please leave a comment or send an email.

  • lethargy, laziness, lack of motivation
  • giving up when the going gets tough
  • suppressing my issues
  • disillusion
  • escapism
  • dependency
  • indecisiveness
  • lack of confidence
  • fear of failure
  • discontent
  • lack of willpower
  1. My lethargy/laziness stems from not feeling motivated, passionate, nor recognizing the importance of that action that requires my input. Feeling as though my rest and relaxation is more valuable than said action.
  2. Giving up when the going gets tough stems from laziness as I described above. Also, feeling as though continuing the path is not worthy or valuable; not seeing instant gratification. Impatience.
  3. Not acknowledging or rather suppressing my issues stems from thinking if something is out of sight then it’s also out of mind. Alternatively, from feeling that even if I were to address my issues, they would still go unresolved and thus making the process a waste of time (not worthy/valuable of my time).
  4. Disillusion comes from not having a sound and solid foundation of who I am. Getting sucked into different ideals that satisfy me temporarily until I’m on to my next conquest.
  5. Escapism comes from fear of facing my issue. I know what the issue is but I rather pretend it’s not there because quite frankly I don’t know how to resolve it, so why bother.
  6. Dependencies on people, environments, and substances stems from my need to escape a situation so the dependency acts a temporary distraction.
  7. Indecisiveness from self-doubt, uncertainty, or the feeling that I might make the wrong decision leading to let down or disappointment. The desire for wanting to be right and avoid failing, delays, or criticism.
  8. Lack of confidence due to feeling I won’t get my way in the situation, self-doubt, or the outcome will not be in my favor. Alternatively, not being able to accept rejection without feeling unworthy.
  9. My fear of failure stems from receiving criticism, pity, or disappointment from others. These things affect me because I’m dependent on how others see me since I don’t have a strong foundation for myself. Feeling ashamed of myself for not being better than I already am.
  10. I feel discontent with the way things are because I believe I should be doing better than the status quo. Feeling I am not good enough yet. Criticizing myself at where I am now instead of applauding myself from where I started at. Comparing myself to others and the mass majority standard of what’s acceptable.
  11. Lack of willpower due to feeling that I am not going to follow through to completion. Feeling as though I am too weak to persist, so why start in the first place. Doubting myself and my inner power. Feeling I’m not as strong as others to keep up.

confused, stuck, afraid of change?

I’m dedicating this to anyone who might feel somewhat stuck or confused about the direction their life is going. I recorded this voice memo on 2/11/2016 but the people I have met this week compelled me to want to share this now. If you’re feeling like your job is not the right fit for you or perhaps you’re in a relationship that is no longer conducive to your growth, this audio clip is for you. It may even be that you have a great job and a healthy relationship but maybe you’re feeling like there’s something more you’re suppose to be doing. In this audio clip, I am sharing my own personal experience of how I learned to:

  • follow my heart
  • know that I am not alone in my journey
  • clear my space and be open to receive
  • accept that mistakes/failures are my teachers rather than my enemy

This is a very raw recording, I didn’t feel the need to sugar coat the process of growing because growth can sometimes come with new challenges. So I’m dishing it out to you, all the good, bad, and ugly! I hope my experiences resonates with you or perhaps it may benefit someone you know who might be going through something similar. If this message does resonate with you be sure to write in or leave a comment, that will prompt me to post part two of this audio!

Much love and prosperity to you all


“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”

beyond the clouds: what are the planets trying to telling us?

courtesy of jewocity.com

If you didn’t catch a glimpse of the morning skies today then you have another shot at it tomorrow before sunrise. If you happen to miss tomorrow’s reveal then you still have till about February 20th to take a look at this memorable event! What’s happening is that five planets are visible to the naked eye for the first time in a decade. Yes, that’s right, Saturn, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter have joined forces to show us one hell of a magic show in the dark morning skies. Other planets like Uranus, Neptune, Pluto will still be around but seeing those planets requires a strong telescope. In case you’re new to the world of astronomy, or even astrology, then let me enlighten you on the significances of these planets.

When people normally think of planets, they might think that they are mysterious or ideas of whether they could inhabit humans centuries from now might cross their minds. The planets hold much more power than we often give credit for. Just look at Earth, our home, the perfect conditions to allow us to breed (as long as we take care of her). In addition to Earth, other nearby planets are more involved in our lives than we consciously are aware of. Unconsciously, we can take on the energies of these planets when they are in certain degrees, or transits. We might have a sudden influx of determination, increased drive, and workaholic tendencies lasting for weeks without even realizing where it might stem from. Or let’s say that you find yourself being in a lovey dovey mood and you notice you’re focusing your strengths on arts, beauty, and all things related to the heart. These influences are likely coming from the energies of the planets in our solar system. Let’s take a deeper look.

Planets and their energies

Saturn: the planet of Karma
• rules Capricorn, and anciently Aquarius
Saturn brings energies of hard work, ethics, discipline, responsibility, task management, life lessons taught, structure and order. With Saturn being the planet of karma and a planet of hard work it definitely abides by “you reap what you sow”. If you are slacking at work or with other responsibilities then you might find when Saturn makes certain transits into your life that you are hit with unfortunate luck. However, if you have been on the grind and diligent then you are likely to see the fruits of your labor flourish.

Mars: the planet of Passion
• rules Aries and Scorpio
With Mars either being your astrological ruling planet or having entered a distinct degree to Earth you will notice your need for action, drive, determination and power. Mars energy is very ambitious, confident, competitive, courageous, fearless and sometimes impulsive. All of these traits are the reason why most astrologers will tag Mars as being the ruler of military entities. You might find yourself having an increase of stamina with Mars making appearances in your life. This is ideal time to start a workout regimen and if Saturn is playing a part in this too then you will likely be able to maintain your regimen instead of quitting when the going gets tough.

Mercury: the planet of Communication
• rules Gemini and Virgo
The planet Mercury energetic forces focus on all things communicative, logic, reasoning, intellect, and short trips. Being the ruler of communication Mercury has a lot on it’s plate. Your style of writing or speech is influenced by Mercury. Having a birth natal chart with a lot of Mercury energy can mean you might be witty, indecisive, and curious. Mercury is often discussed in the news and social media due to Mercury going retrograde. Retrograde, means to move backward, but truly the planet does not move backwards it’s merely an optical illusion. We are actually experiencing a Mercury retrograde now, it started roughly around January 5th and will end around January 25th, give or take some days. With Mercury in retrograde you might be prone to having misunderstandings with people, electronics might be giving you trouble, traveling can be delayed due to traffic or flight delays. Although, this can be frustrating to some, this period can also be good for reflecting, relaxing, and re-examining aspects of our life.

Venus: the planet of Love
• rules Taurus and Libra
I just adore Venus energy! Venus brings out energies of love, romance, friendships, socializing, arts, charm, and other pleasurable endeavours. If you suddenly find yourself in a loveable mood and wanting to dive into life’s pleasures you might of been hit with Venus’ powers. It’s actually common as Venus energies likes to stay around for many months. Venus is all about what makes you happy. What are you attracted to? Good food, art galleries, luxury items, oh my!

Jupiter: the planet of Luck
• rules Sagittarius, and anciently Pisces
Yes, the planet of luck, Jupiter being the largest planet in our solar system expands good fortune in your astrological chart. Higher learning, spirituality, philosophy, manifestations, long distant travel, optimism, benevolent moral values, and sense of purpose are some benefits of this star’s energy. Having a spiritual awakening or being endowed with lady luck on your side can be thought of as Jupiter’s doings. Like all the planets, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, too much pull from this energy can cause laziness and sloth.

Uranus: the planet of Rebellion
• rules Aquarius
Uranus gives you a new look on things, it allows you to see what else may be out there for you. This is the planet that rules originality, ingenious inventions, free will, creativity and liberation. Uranus energy is largely associated with the hippie movement, activism, and the urge for social change and reform. John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., and The Beatles were some of many who were born during strong Uranus transits. Some astrologers also believe Uranus is ruler of natural disasters such as earthquakes.

Pluto: the planet of Power
• rules Scorpio
Ninth planet from the sun, it is no wonder why pluto is the keeper of secrets, transformations, and control. It is the smallest planet known to our solar system but do not be fooled this planet is packed full of power. Pluto’s motto is “out with the old and in with the new”. You might find yourself changing career paths or making new groups of friends with the energy of this planet, especially if Uranus or Mercury retrograde are adding in their two cents. Being the planet of death and rebirth should not be taken as something negative but rather a blessing in disguise. After Pluto is done with you you’ll notice that you come out stronger than before. A triumph over the odds, from grief to grace!

Neptune: the planet of Illusions
• rules Pisces
Neptune, ruler of dreams, the subconscious, spirituality, compassion, inspiration, intuition and psychic receptiveness. This planet is all about what lies underneath, all things unseen. Since it is the ruler of oceans, it is only fitting that the watery emotional Pisces is paired with this planet. It is known that water symbolically means emotional depths and free-flowing ideals. In addition, in dream interpretation, seeing water is often a symbolic meaning related to your inner emotions. People who have an air of mystery to them can often have strong Neptune influence in their astrological charts. Also those with strong gut instincts, empathic nature, or psychic abilities have Neptune to thank for that. Downfalls of too much of this energy can cause people the urge to escape from reality, often leading to addictions. It’s best to practice grounding techniques to help balance you out if you feel you always have your head in the clouds.

We see the sun and the moon all the time but just so we don’t exclude Leos and Cancers out of the fun let’s quickly go over their ruling star’s attributes.

Sun: the star of Illumination
• rules Leo
The masculine energy of the Sun brings about spirited personality traits, a confident ego, vitality, and success. The sun questions “who are you” and what shapes us. This star gives off such energy and strength and one might find they can overcome any challenges. Since the Sun is a source of heat for us, Leos can often be portrayed as warm, passionate, and attractive. This extroverted energy can be very attractive to many. Just like the planets, the Sun can come with negative traits such as having an inflated ego and extreme self-centered tendencies.

Moon: ruler of emotions
• rules Cancer
The feminine energy of the Moon dictates emotions, the subconscious, introspection. The Moon is naturally a mysterious ‘planet’ to astronomers and it goes without saying that the Moon is just as important as the Sun. Moon energy is responsive, nurturing, sustainable, reflective, creative and receptive. Where as the sun is active, the moon is reactive. The moon focuses on “how we feel” and this is why Cancers can be stigmatized as having mood swings and sudden bursts of different emotions. Similar to Neptune, the Moon is ruler of the tides, thus also making this energy have watery emotional depths. Cancers like to have a soul connection with people, a true bond, an emotional bond much like its fellow water signs Pisces and Scorpio. The moon is most influential during full moons and supermoons which is why people say things get a little weird on those distinct nights.

For more information about the effects that planets have on people, please visit astrology.about.com.